There once was a girl who loved Twilight, and she happened to have access to the internet. So with this access, she made an account on WikiAnswers. She then, made the mistake of trying to make friends with someone who loathes Twilight with an undying passion, and she said to CatDemonNinja: “hi ur the first person i made friends with on wiki answer xx bye bbe”
“Oh, you don't wanna make friends with me, dear.” I responded with disdain, “If I could shoot Stephanie Meyers' foot and get away with it I totally would. I hate twilight and view it as excrement.”
“I DO WANNA BE UR FRIEND I DONT NO HOW TO ADD U SOZ ADD ME PLS” the girl screamed in desperation.
“This is not some social network.” I informed her, “If you don't know how to add people, it may very well be because there isn't a friends feature. Anyway, what I mean is that we probably don't have much in common, but I'll put it to you this way. I also don't want to be your friend. I never add people I don't know, and I find it annoying that you type in all caps. That is the equivalent of yelling.”
“I STILL DUNNO WHAT U MEAN” she told me in all caps, even though I just asked her to stop doing that.
“Could you please stop typing in all caps? Thank you... WikiAnswers doesn't have a "friend" option.”
Still hoping to have a shallow internet relationship with me, she ignored my disinterest and asked me: “soz xx are u online”
My eye twitched, but I pressed on. I said to her, “Could you please stop messaging me? Do not reply to this asking why, because I will consider any further communication as harassment.”
“im not harassing im asking a question” she defended.
“You are now. I've warned you that I would deem any further contact as such, yet you are disturbing me persistently, knowing that I've already stated that I would see it as harassment. Leave me alone. If you respond one more time, I will report you.” I said, paraphrasing the literal definition of ‘harass.’
She flipped. Her shit.“THIS IS BLACK MAIL” she screamed “THERE ARE LOADS OF PEOPLE LIKE U OUT THERE UR PROBOLY NOT EVEN PRETTY OR ANYTHING BULLY UR A BIG FAT BULLY I AM NOT STANDING FOR BLACK MAIL I DONT CARE WHAT U DO WEIRDO WEIRDO SADOO SADOO BYE”
(I think what she meant by “sadoo” was “sado” as in “sadist,” as in I enjoy her pain.)
So, I responded: “I happen to be battling anorexia right now, so I'd really appreciate it if you didn't pick on my weight or call me ugly because my psychiatrist has enough to handle right now, not that I particularly care about your skewed opinion.
Anyway, you can't really call someone a bully and call them ugly and fat in the same sentence in response to multiple requests made by the alleged "bully" to be left alone... If you think I'm such a horrible bully, then WHY do you keep pestering me.
Also, that wasn't extortion, that was a warning. Extortion/black mail is "To obtain from another by coercion or intimidation." Such as if I were threatening to release embarrassing/humiliating photos of you if you did not give me some sort of money or object.
by the way, I was serious and I have reported you. Best case scenario for you if they actually do something is that you will not be able to message me/use the message board feature. Worst case scenario for you is getting banned, but I don't think they'll go that far, and if they do, just know that that was not my intention.”
“Plus i dont know who u think your talkin to...........have u saw yourself sadoo and u bitch.You probaly are FAT haha yhh i said it so just leave Me alone u BULLY !!!!!
u know what bitch means a big FAT UGLY DOG thats y i said it too u cause u are....!!!!!!!!!!
U can do what u want but many ppl out there are gonna think your just a sadooo coz u cant speak for yourself and all tht crap SOO THERE STOP EMAILING ME HORRIBLE STUFF or i will report u to the police !!! So there DOG” She responded.
Seriously, what kind of sadoo calls someone a fat ugly bitch after they tell them they are trying to get over anorexia nervosa? That’s just damaging. So I said to her:
“I am absolutely fine with you reporting me to the police. Go right ahead. I mean it. I have broken no law, so go ahead and call the cops. Make sure you have a printed copy of our conversation to submit as evidence, but do tell me what you plan of charging me with, but whatever you choose to do, show these to your mom first. Or dad, if you don't live with your mom, it really doesn't matter. Just inform an authority figure of what's happened here, so that they can be sure you take any and all proper steps... by the way, I've reported you again...
STOP MESSAGING ME. (and technically, this isn't email...)”
“well do u wanna learn sumet i thought u new everything proboly not haha !!!!!!!! go right ahead report me i have reported u already and today im doin it to the police bye”
Wait… What? How old are you? I don’t think you should be sleeping with police officers. That’s messed up! To this, I responded: “Just stop messaging me. There's no point in your continuance, and I am reporting you for the third time.”
Then she said, “KK CHILL”
Child, you started screaming at me and called me a fat ugly bitch because I didn’t want to be friends with you. When I threatened to report you if you didn’t leave me alone, you flipped out and accused me of blackmail. Who do you think you’re telling to calm down?
I put all of these thoughts into two words: “Chill how??”
You may be wondering what she was doing on my profile in the first place. Apparently, she thought we should be friends because I edited her edit…
She turned “Her actresses' name in real life is Kristen Stewart.” Into “Bella swan has been in a lot of films i will tell u how many she has been in 18 films i haven't watched half of them. But her real name is Kristen Stewart” and I decide dot make that more relevant to the question by changing it into this:
“The actress who plays Bella Swan is named Kristen Stewart, and she has been in eighteen films.” So apparently, my raising the intelligence of an answer to the site’s standards hinted to her that we should be best friends forever. Because this girl is an internet stalker.
Then, I discovered that on her own message board, she had this to say about herself: “ME SO COOL YH BABY”
That’s right, you are so cool that you have to call an “anorexic” girl a fat bitch to feel better about yourself, and all the cool kids file false police reports… You and your bastardization of the English language are so awesome and pwning that you deserve to go on my web site and my Tumblr. Have fun, and don’t ever let me catch you on fanfiction.net…
Do you wanna know what’s cool? Writing your own song and it turning out well. A teacher who makes “that’s what she said” jokes. Getting the lead in a play. Those things are cool. Making a fool of yourself on a website where you’re supposed to show intelligence by answering life’s questions, is not cool.
Don’t like how I handled this? Good. fill out the form: